You know what I really need to stop doing? Let shitty past actions of others affect how I view other people today. TL;DR at bottom.
Like, just because I’ve had guys do shitty things to me doesn’t mean that every guy is the same. It doesn’t mean that every new guy in my life is gonna do the same stupid shit. If they end of doing that kind of stuff, fine. They turned out to be shitty. But, I shouldn’t hold them accountable to shit they haven’t done.
Unfortunately, I haven’t remembered that the past few days, and I’m bit nervous that I let my emotional insecurities show too early with this guy I’ve been kinda talking to.
I hope I didn’t ruin the nice little thing we had going on. He is just really fun to talk to and hang out with, and I think I just got a little nervous/excited because I haven’t crushed on someone like this in a longgggg time, and after talking with that guy every day [good morning and good night texts included], he dropped off the face of the earth and stopped talking to me.
I was just a little nervous this guy would do the same thing (especially since out texting has gotten a bit sparse over the past few days), and I guess, I let it show…
He says that “we both need to relax” and “talk about a few things.” I told him to talk to me when he’s ready. So, it’s just a waiting game at this point.
And to be honest, even though I feel like this is all my doing, I think [and kinda hope] there’s something more going on. Because just last week after our date, he said he couldn’t wait to see me again, and all this other stuff [he likes to lay it on thick], and I know I didn’t show my crazy that much! haha
But alas, I just gotta wait. Though, I really hope that if we’re gonna “talk,” it’s notso he can tell me he’s not interested anymore [he did say “we” so that may not be the case but he could’ve just said that too be nice?]. Like, we’re not a couple/in a relationship, it’s ok to say that shit through text.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I would be pretty bummed. But, at least we would stop wasting each other’s time. Ya know?
TL;DR: Got nervous that this cool guy I’m crushing on was gonna stop talking to me, influenced by my past, shitty experiences with guys. Kinda let it show a bit through text (though, a friend told me it was NOT at crazy lady levels). He said we both need to chill and talk about a few things, and he was stressed and needed to think. I told him to talk to me when he was ready (though, I kinda wanna get it over with, especially if I’m not gonna be a fan of it). Now, I’m just gonna wait.
Is there a time limit on this kind of stuff? I mean, he seems good and straightforward enough to not take super long with it, but then again he has be pretty stressed about stuff lately. But in all honesty, I don’t think I could wait longer than a week… I just don’t want to waste both of our time, ya know?
MANTRA I NEED TO REMEMBER:
I’m young and should have fun! Dating it supposed to be fun! And, the past is the past, and not everyone is the same.
Also, bless your ass if you read all this shit! haha Love ya! =*